What I learned from my tresses

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In the eight and a half years of wearing my hair natural my hair and I have been completely in tune.  In the very beginning of my journey where I did the “big chop,” my hair was buzzed very close to my head I learned then that I was simply me.  That I am not anyone else’s ideals of who they think I should be.  I was exposed, not just the features of my face, but extremely vulnerable.  All of the pain that I kept hidden behind Yaki 1B was still there waiting on me.  I needed to work on the little girl inside who was continuously told; “Girl you need to do something with that nappy hair of yours,” or “She ain’t nothing but a black heifer.”  Then there was the supposed occasional compliment, “You’re pretty for a dark- skinned girl.”  I learned to face that pain and much more that no amount of hair glue could solve.

My hair has taught me the art of self- love and preservation.  I saw who loved me for me, and not for the façade that I put on for the world to see.  I took it one step further and researched my family history because you can’t get ahead if you don’t know where you come from.  From there, I began to not only love what God gave me but really appreciate the big bright eyes, the button wide nose, the full lips, and the cocoa skin.  There I was; no bangs to hide under, nor any length of the weaves or wigs to hide my flaws.  With my hair being natural I had time to focus on other things, and I had extra money to invest in other areas of my life which I had been neglecting.  With all this new self-love I learned to teach people how to treat me.  I was a new Toshia, a Queen.  I demanded and gave respect.  When people spoke to me they now looked me in the eyes.  I liked this new Toshia; I was becoming the woman I saw in my dreams.  

The woman I am today is a woman of dignity and respect.  I am a woman with an intense spirit; a loving person who knows her self-worth.  I know my purpose on this planet, and I am aggressively fulfilling it.  I may not be where I want to be just yet, but I know I am well on my way.  I know that I am a shining example for other women to feel comfortable in your own skin.  It doesn’t matter what color you are, or how much you weigh.  It needn’t matter that your hair is kinky, wavy, curly, or straight.  You must love who you are and allow that self love to radiate.  Work toward your purpose, and don’t waste time questioning your presence.  If you get in tune with “self” that question of, “What am I here on Earth for?” will be answered.  This is what my hair has taught me.  In conclusion, I will always take care of my crown; it is regal and deserved to be treated with respect.  I will always respect my crown even when others don’t.

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